28th October 2026
Christmas can be a particularly difficult time for separated parents when both want to spend meaningful time with their children. Deciding where the children will wake up on Christmas morning, when they will see wider family and how the festive period will be divided can become a source of disagreement.
There is no automatic rule about which parent should have the children on Christmas Day. The priority is finding arrangements that work for your children, whether you can agree these yourselves or need help resolving a disagreement.
Sarah Johnson, Solicitor in our Family Law team at Myers & Co, explains how Christmas arrangements can be agreed and what your options are if you and the other parent cannot reach an agreement.
Parents can usually decide Christmas arrangements between themselves. There is no set legal rule stating that children must spend Christmas Day with one particular parent or that the day must be divided equally.
If you already have a child arrangements order, check its terms before making plans. The order may contain specific arrangements for Christmas, other festive dates or the wider school holidays.
If you cannot agree and the court is asked to decide, its focus will be the welfare of your children rather than either parent’s entitlement to spend a particular day with them. This can include considering their needs, their wishes and feelings depending on their age and understanding, and any risk of harm.
It can therefore be helpful to think about Christmas through your children’s eyes. Spending time with siblings, seeing grandparents, waking up somewhere familiar or avoiding several hours in the car may matter more to them than dividing Christmas Day equally between two homes.
There is no single arrangement that suits every family. Starting with the whole Christmas school holiday, rather than focusing exclusively on Christmas Day, can give you more flexibility around work, travel and family commitments.
Some parents choose to:
What works will depend on your circumstances.
For example, sharing Christmas Day might be practical if you live close to one another. If there is a considerable distance between your homes, however, it could mean your children spend a large part of Christmas travelling.
Similarly, if one parent is working on Christmas Day, celebrating together on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day could give the children more relaxed and meaningful time with them.
The aim does not have to be an exact 50/50 division. What matters is agreeing an arrangement that is realistic and works well for your children.
Try to discuss arrangements as early as possible and put forward a clear proposal rather than leaving plans open-ended.
Think about practical details including:
Once you reach an agreement, record the practical arrangements in writing. Having clear dates, times and handover arrangements can help avoid misunderstandings when Christmas arrives.
You can also listen to what your children value about Christmas without putting them in the position of having to choose between their parents.
If discussions repeatedly return to the same disagreement, getting legal advice can help you understand your options and identify a way forward.
Depending on your circumstances, family mediation may provide an opportunity to discuss the arrangements with the help of an independent mediator. The mediator does not decide where your children should spend Christmas but helps you both explore whether an agreement can be reached.
If court proceedings become necessary, you will usually need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before applying for a child arrangements order, unless an exemption applies.
Where there has been domestic abuse, intimidation or another safety concern, you should seek legal advice about the most appropriate way of dealing with arrangements rather than feeling that you have to negotiate directly.
Seek advice promptly rather than relying on a last-minute court application.
Even if discussions have started late, it can still be worthwhile putting forward a clear proposal and trying to reach an agreement.
However, making a court application shortly before Christmas does not guarantee that the court will be able to determine the arrangements before the festive period. Whether a case is dealt with urgently will depend on its circumstances.
If there is an immediate concern about your child’s safety or a risk that they could be unlawfully removed from the UK, seek legal advice promptly.
Read the order carefully before agreeing Christmas plans to establish whether it contains specific provisions covering Christmas, school holidays or arrangements that apply throughout the year.
If the wording is unclear, legal advice can help you understand what the order requires before arrangements are made.
You and the other parent can agree to follow different arrangements for a particular Christmas, but doing so does not formally change the existing court order.
If you agree a temporary arrangement, record clearly what you have decided, including the dates and times involved and that the agreement applies to that particular Christmas.
If a longer-term change is needed, you may be able to ask the court to approve an agreed consent order. Where you cannot agree on a necessary change, an application can be made to vary the existing order.
If an agreed handover does not take place, try to keep the disagreement away from your child.
Keep a factual record of what happened, including:
It may be possible to ask the court to enforce a child arrangements order using Form C79. The court will consider the circumstances before deciding what action, if any, should be taken.
Getting legal advice can help you understand whether the order may have been breached and the most appropriate next step.
Our Family Law team can help if you are struggling to agree where your children will spend Christmas, an existing child arrangements order is unclear or arrangements have broken down.
We can explain your options; help you work towards an agreement where appropriate and advise you if court proceedings become necessary. We will also take account of any domestic abuse or safety concerns that may make direct discussions with the other parent inappropriate.
If you would like advice about Christmas child arrangements following separation, give us a call on 01782 491045, or make an enquiry to find out how we can help.
